


Half of a life

by RandomAssCow



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Clay | Dream Manipulates TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Exile Arc on Dream Team SMP (Video Blogging RPF), Gen, Heartache, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, L'Manberg | L'Manburg on Dream Team SMP (Video Blogging RPF), Logstedshire on Dream Team SMP (Video Blogging RPF), Short One Shot, Suicide, Tags Are Hard, my children, sad tubbo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 17:40:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29828529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RandomAssCow/pseuds/RandomAssCow
Summary: A gravestone would never be enough. A gravestone would never be Tommy.~Tubbo discovers a blown-up logstedshire and a very tall tower.
Kudos: 10





	Half of a life

**Author's Note:**

> Short but sad :)

The young boy stared with wide eyes at the tower. His whole body shook with fear and tears flowed freely down his cheeks. His knees buckled and he fell to the ground. The dirt was rough and hard against his open palms. He gazed around the broken landscape, How could this happen. How could he let this happen? The short boy brought his chin to the sky and felt the first few drops of rain hit his skin. He only cried harder as the rain started to pour from the clouds. Perhaps the clouds could sense his agony, perhaps they were sad too. The ground soon grew moist beneath the boy's knees, causing him to sink into the wet dirt. He only pressed harder into the ground and let out a broken scream. A scream of pure anguish that seemed to echo through the sky. He shouted until his throat bled and his bones ached. He begged for the gods to help him, but they did not answer. It wasn't long before he fell to his side and curled in on himself, his sobs still ringing through the air. The crack of lightning striking nearby reverberated through his body, causing him to choke on his own sound. He thrashed around on the dirt and pleaded for death to consume him. The tower stood rigid and silent as the boy writhed in despair. Lost in his own heartbreak and Longing for his lost brother. 

The boy only cried out for his lost friend. He longed for the torment and grief to end. It was his fault, he did this. He was the one to kill his best friend. A gravestone would never be enough. A gravestone would never be _Tommy_. The name of his brother left his tongue and he cried out again, this time with the name. The name he knew so well. The name of a perfect boy. The sweet and defiant blond that he had grown up with. They were meant to be together through thick and thin. But Tubbo had abandoned him. He had left him alone with a monster. 

His body quivered under the cool touch of the rain. He deserved this. He deserved this melancholy sorrow. He should pay for what he has done. _Tommy_ was dead because of him. No longer would he smile nor would he laugh. Never again would he speak. Maybe he had become part of the sky, maybe he had become a star. The boy in the dirt promised, he vowed he would never leave his brother, he would never again abandon him. 

He thought of what his brother had felt. The wind had rushed through his hair, not even a might prior. He had fallen from the tower. Perhaps he had felt his bones shatter, perhaps he landed in the safety of the water. The crying boy knew he had missed his chance. His chance to ever see his loving brother again. His chance to grow up with his best friend. _Tommy_ was gone for good. It was a long time ago that _Tommy_ had abandoned Tubbo. It never mattered what anyone had said, Tubbo never Felt abandoned. He knew _Tommy_ had no choice, he knew _Tommy_ loved him. This, however, was different, Tubbo did abandon _Tommy_. He sent him away because he was scared. He was so scared. Dream had all the power, Dream could do whatever he wanted. He was just a boy trying to protect what he loved. He didn't know this is what would happen. He didn't know. He just tried so hard and yet this was worse than whatever Dream would have done. Now all he wishes as he lays in the dirt is to be able to take it all back. To be able to stand up to Dream. To be able to look _Tommy_ in the eyes and say that he wouldn't let anything happen to him. But he can't. He can't take back the sins he had committed. The choices he had made. He had tried to protect what he loved but instead, he now had to bury an empty casket under a stone with the name of his other half. 

He wonders what his best friend would have wanted. Would he want to be cast out to the sea or turned to ash in a fire? Truthfully Tubbo had no idea. He didn't even know how his best friend wanted to go. It's not like it wasn't something they talked about, it was. Tubbo just couldn't remember. Did he even have the right to say that _Tommy_ was his best friend? After all, he had left him. He had sent him away. Away From his home, his family. He hadn't even come to visit. He hadn't done anything for _Tommy_. He wanted to. Why hadn't he? Why had he been such a coward? Now he was gone and it was all Tubbo’s fault. And with him, he took Tubbo’s happiness, his smile, his joy. Any chance Tubbo had of ever feeling complete was gone. 

The rain kept pouring down onto the small boy's shaking body. The sky rumbled but Tubbo didn't care, he kept sobbing and pleading for the gods to bring _Tommy_ back. Begging for his best friend. How could he feel whole without his brother? His other half. The boy he was going to spend forever with. Now he would never get the chance. He'd spend his forever alone. He would spend his forever picturing _Tommy_ by his side. Picturing the boy’s smile, his eyes.

“Tommy's favorite thing in the whole world is Tubbo."

If only Tubbo had cared so much for _Tommy_. Instead, he let his compass get burnt. It was an accident he knew that, or at least he thought that. How could he be sure where the truth started and Dream’s manipulation ended. _Tommy_ thought Tubbo didn't care. If only he had cared more. If only he had been stronger. It was his fault. He was to blame. He'd killed his other half. He was the reason his future would be lived without his brother. 

Now the land _Tommy_ was forced to call home was gone. Everything he had built had been destroyed. A life he was forced to build by himself, all because Tubbo had abandoned him. All because he had let _Tommy_ slip through his grasp. Why couldn't he go back to when they were kids. When they ran and played together. When he followed _Tommy_ as he played pranks on Wilbur and Techno. Why had the world been put on their shoulders? They were still young. _Tommy_ and Tubbo. Names that fit so perfectly together. The names of two kids who had been broken down by the world.

Getting up never felt more difficult. His whole body ached with misery and the tears still flowed from his eyes. Each drop of rain felt like another hand pressing him further into the soft ground. He would wait for death to consume him. He just couldn't get up. Every thought weighed him down and brought more tears to his eyes. When Tubbo was being abused by Shclatt, _Tommy_ tried. He tried to make things better. There was nothing he could have done, but he still cared. _Tommy_ had cared so much. Tubbo had turned his back on _Tommy_ , he had left. He left him alone, he didn't even try. Now he was to blame for burying his other half. 

The nights were long knowing _Tommy_ was gone. Sleep wouldn't welcome him anymore. Instead, it let him grieve. It let him despise himself every waking moment of his life. Not a day had passed when he hadn't cried. He refused to get out of bed. His reason to live was gone. He would cry and yell until he was void of emotion and then when sleep took pity on the boy, he would do it all again the next morning. He was trapped in a never-ending cycle of despair. Sometimes he would visit _Tommy's_ grave. He might bring flowers or snacks. He would cry. He would cry for hours on end. He would feel his heart shatter all over again. Just like _Tommy’s_ bones had shattered and splintered when he hit the ground.

Years ago there were two young brothers. Happy and cheerful. They were inseparable. There was a loud and rebellious blond and an optimistic and loving brunette. Now stood a tall and silent stone and a broken and hopeless brunette.

**Author's Note:**

> Wasn't that fun?  
> Yeah it was...


End file.
